Dream.Tonight

I hope i can see you in my dreams tonight.

I will hold your hands tight while we stroll on the golden sand as the sun rise.

I will hug you from the back as you held on to the string that flies the kite.

I will touch your cheek as your cheek gently as you smile, beads of perspiration i will gingerly wipe.

I will kiss you under the moon as i embrace you tight.

I will spend the perfect day, in the realm of no restrain alright,

if i see you in my dreams tonight.

Reply to SMS

Tell me about your emotion mixture. Why do you feel each of the sad, guilty, stun, comfort and helpless?

Please do not forget yourself. Happy times together should not only bring me comfort but you too. You know?

I am just anal about watching movie. :) But its okie. I understand and i can take a step backwards at the appropriate time.

This is what i owe him.

Torn Apart

Sometimes, i felt like i am being torn apart, from the inside.

Do you understand?

Will you understand?

Why do i feel so moody?

 

 

i will go back one week in time if i may.

The midnight conversation

"can i call you?"
"yup, call me in 5 mins, i am replying his emo msg..."

I call in 10 min.

"give me a min" and you went on typing on ya phone.

I waited.

"I mean i love him and i have done everything i could within my means. Sometimes when you have done your best and you still get this kind of response, it is like a slap in ya face. I really dunno what to do le. I can't feel my own emotions."

I held my breath as my heart cringes. I would have let out a groan of pain if i werent on the phone.

Suddenly, i feel like i should have done more. For her.

I should have given her more, no less. Sms her first thing in the morning. Be less stingy with hugs and kisses.

But i was so consumed in this, i neglected every of it and more. And i let it continue...


And it is not a good thing to see you in misery. When you only have one heart, how is it possible to divide it among all. Maybe the only way is to return my share (if it even was righfully mine), however tiny or large it maybe, to its rightful owner.

To stop ya bleeding. To stop his. To stop hers.

If i can compare it to a movie...

Like a movie, if i could,

it has a bad start at the airport

and a bad ending, at the airport again.

Not that i could complain or that i am in the position to.

 

At least the story was good.

Am going to miss the 24 hour dosage.

 

If only i could find that half the memory that was gone in 60 seconds.

On a side note, such things make me feel like a girl at time. And worse, one that is having her period 24/7 of the time. Emotional rollercoaster are hard to stomach.

At the airport

You slept there blissfully like a baby. On his shoulders, sound in slumber, oblivion to the happenings around you. He sat beside you, shoulders soft and gentle like your pillow, yet strong upright, and reliable. He watches over you, as your head rests on his frame, hands hugging him. He is gently stroking your hair while mantaining a watch eye of the surrounding, as if prepared to throw himself at any danger for you and you only. You look tired, he looks tired too, yet he dares not sleep. Fearing that any slight movement will rob you of those precious moments of sleep. He was, is and will be the reason why you are sleeping peacefully.

What a nice picture. And this romantic moment, this serenity is played on as the run way lights cast a soft hue on you two.

The nice piano music plays in the background.

I look to my left at this picture. Hundreds of thoughts surfaced. Hundreds of thoughts vanished. Simultaneously with the hundreds of hearts that died.

Furious, Anger, Jealousy, Confusion and all, and to think i thought i was prepared for all of these. How more wrong could i get.

he looked to his right. I took a step back. I look front.

And walked away.

"Wasnt't that hair suppose to be flowing through my fingers?"

"Wasn't that scent suppose to linger around me?"

No never, it never was that way. I snapped back to reality.

"why the hell are you even angry?"

"you have no rights! you have no say!"

He may not score As. He may not be a thinker, but he loves you so. Deeper than than deepest ocean, more than there are stars in the sky.

"And who are you to spoil all these?"

"You are nothing, Nothing. NOTHING!"